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Learning PHP

Ignore this post. Just playing with a bit of code. PHP is a dangerous tool in my hands.

Random Bits I Tweeted on 2010-01-31

  • The iPad is super-absorbant and available in Maxi-size as well. Your wife or girlfriend will love it! #
  • Great, now the Republicans are giving their rebuttal to the iPad. Bobby Jindal will tear it apart for being too liberal and lacking features #
  • I'm stunned by how much Apple's iBook reader rips off Classic reader for iPhone. http://bit.ly/2m9Yf0 #
  • Watching Steve Job's keynote, and feeling reassured by Job's appearance. He's put on some weight and looks healthier than ever. #
  • So far the only thing I really blew my mind away from iPad is the drop-domn menu notification. This needs to be added to OSX and iPhone. #
  • I view the iPad in much the same way as I do AppleTV: a cool prototype attempting to create and/or redefine a market, but falls short. #
  • Ten more minutes until I join the legions of iWhores plunking down my credit card to buy new Apple shit. Don't judge me! #
  • It's a nice neighborhood to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. http://bit.ly/9qpdxL #
  • My Apple predictions for today. 1. Apple announces tablet. 2. Apple shares drop, afterward. 3. Twitter goes down. All in that order. #
  • My God am I excited about today!

    They're serving pizza for lunch! Wait, is there some other big event today? #

  • Every time a Wal-mart security scanner rings, a door greeter gets their wings. Or falls dead from a sudden heart attack. #
  • This is AWESOME: http://www.switched.com/2010/01/25/spaced-out-designing-the-workspace-for-every-desk-dweller /via @superpixels #
  • Grabbing some coffee at Starbucks to make my blood run black with the sweet deliciuos nector of — at Starbucks Coffee http://gowal.la/s/mBi #

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Random Bits I Tweeted on 2010-01-24

  • Just realized that I've been working for the past 5 minutes with Miley Cyrus playing unnoticed in the background. I feel shame, and Nausea. #
  • The Happy Plane will kill you with love…and bullets. http://twitpic.com/zh6yk #
  • No dice. Just as before Gowalla will not let me check-in at any more spots. Fix this, @gowalla. #
  • Creating a new spot in Gowalla in hopes it will resolve the pesky bug i'm encountering. — at Blockbuster Video http://gowal.la/s/3g8q #
  • Went to a Chinese restaurant tonight. They copied my meal, made it cheaper, cutting into my profit margin. I left hungry and jobless. #
  • What's that you say, pants? I should take you off? I can't – I'm still at work. #pantlessFriday #
  • Excited by the prospect of @lettersapp project and the pending arrival a robust Mac IMAP email client for power users. http://bit.ly/8A2Rx4 #
  • MacUpdate.com is my daily window for discovering awesome new software. Each visit feels like boarding a ship filled with hot women, all 4 me #
  • Insanely vulgar Better Off Ted outtakes. http://bit.ly/6LxRne #
  • Magic Mouse really is magical. It makes batteries disappear – having consumed a second set of batteries in shorter time than the first. #
  • Wow Google, seriously? You don't allow embedded maps in Waves? Great product integration you have there. Pure fucktastic genius. Really. #
  • Thought just occurred to me that Apple should resurrect its now defunct iBook branding for the tablet. The perfect name for such a product. #
  • My inner geek is already sporting an erectile projectile for the Apple tablet, and the damned thing isn't even announced yet. I wants it! #
  • To the crackwhore spermatorium bimbo hooker who nearly ran me off the highway on the way home. You have made a powerful enemy today. #
  • Slogan of the day "The mystery has been pantsed." #
  • Watching Penn and Teller's Bullshit for the first time and thoroughly enjoying it. Though I'm shocked by the amount of tits & profanity. Oy! #

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Random Bits I Tweeted on 2010-01-17

  • These pants are so gone. #pantlessfriday #
  • This is simply mind-blowing awesome. A homemade Iron Man costume, complete with LED effects. http://bit.ly/4KvYnW #
  • Looking forward to attending PAX East in March with @thebrawnyman, @pokepoke, and @snowman2025 for a weekend of gaming violence. #paxeast #
  • The most stunning use of CG ever designed. Breathtaking, and all of it is fully CG (i.e. not real). http://vimeo.com/7809605 #
  • The sight of John Mayer on the cover of Guitar World mag scares the hell out of me. I must burn my copy immediately, then gouge out my eyes. #
  • George Takei appears on the next Heroes. He may be playing the part of judge, but he'll always be gay shirtless sword wielding Sulu to me. #
  • So who's attending Pax East this March? Interested in a meetup? #
  • Procured my copy of Modern Warfare 2 for PC. I await the next opportunity kill all of my good friends online. What are friends for? Pew pew! #
  • Clever Honda ad on Chuck. Too bad the Accord Crosstour is an ass-ugly car designed by drunken dyslexic mongoloid idiots. #
  • Macy's, If I can't find a replacement zipper pull for my Pakistani-made jacket in less than one hour, you and the third world will suffer. #
  • Palm CEO has never used an iPhone – or so he claims. http://om.ly/dwyT (via @GuyKawasaki) #
  • In the mood for a seeing a movie but can't find anything that appeals to me. #
  • Shopping horror while standing at the checkout lane: a fat woman in a sit'n shop with a box of condoms in her basket. I hate you, Walmart! #
  • Something you don't want to see while standing at the checkout lane: a fat woman in a sit'n shop with a b — at WalMart http://gowal.la/s/VuL #
  • At Sweetwater, picking up my MacBook's power brick that I carelessly left on Friday. #

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Random Bits I Tweeted on 2010-01-10

  • Farewell, pleated pants. Friday has come to free you. Yes, it's Pantless Friday, folks. Join my liberation movement – emancipate your legs. #
  • Microsoft's answer to iSlate is a slate PC, running straight up Windows 7 with no customizations. Apple is so going to crush this category. #
  • Watching Steve Balmer's CES keynote, and laughing hysterically at his fumbling Tablet demos. Someone didn't brief him how to use the device. #
  • Oh, BetterTouchTool. If you were human I would meet you in a club, take you aside and do unspeakable acts to you..in public. I love you. #
  • The new Slingbox 700u looks like badly designed bathroom scales. Seriously, who would want this in their living room? http://bit.ly/8zmV4P #
  • Mapping multi-touch gestures to my Magic Mouse in BetterTouchTool. I can finally use finger swipes to refresh Tweetie and Mail! Paradise. #
  • Sweet lord, Portia De Rossi is a hottie! She's like a female Jude Law with breasts. And….breasts. That's not wrong is it? #
  • Wonderful! I step outside into the Siberian tundra and my jacket zipper breaks. Thank you, Pakistan for my defective coat & frozen nipples! #
  • AppZapper 2.0 update is droolworthy & makes uninstalling apps fun. I've wiped out half of my applications already. STOP ME! #appzapper #
  • My Yahoo personals debacle has taken on a new horror. Now it's trying to match me with women in their 40s. Why does Yahoo hate me? #
  • Abortion is a pregnancy refund conducted beneath a sign that reads "All sales are final". #
  • My friend Ben Adryl. He works wonders on cold symptoms and hyperactive children. Call him. He's available 24/7, right on your night stand. #
  • Homeland Security and the NTSA put on such great theater, convincing the public our airlines are safe for travel. I almost want to believe. #
  • Inglorious Bastards serves are further evidence that Tarantino's brain has suffered permanent damage from his coke habit. Too much blow. #

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Random Bits I Tweeted on 2010-01-03

  • I regret ever having explored Yahoo personals. My inbox is fillrd with fat divorced women looking for a second income. I give up. No more. #
  • Watched Aliens Vs. Predator Requiem for less than 40 minutes before ejecting the DVD. That's 10 minutes less than Brokeback Mountain. Bleh! #
  • Photo perspective fun. http://bit.ly/GPodR #
  • Photos that expose our dirty minds. http://bit.ly/5K3dDO #
  • Star Wars where you least suspect it http://om.ly/dhUI (via @GuyKawasaki) #
  • Had fun playing Munchkin with @pokepoke, @lavystar, @thebrawnyman, @snowman2025. And learning that I'm apparently not trusted around women. #
  • Disturbingly realistic sculptures that will make you cringe. http://bit.ly/2QZslH #
  • My "Toys for Tards" drives was a failure. I wanted to bring joy to under privileged retarded kids, yet none of you contributed. Shameful. #
  • Jailbroke my iPhone for the sheer pleasure of installing ProSwitcher and Orbit, which provide functions Apple should build into the OS. #
  • Holiday spam. Nothing says Christmas like a huge erection that lasts until New Year's. My idea of Yule Log. http://twitpic.com/vrk2x #
  • Playing Star Wars Force Unleashed Sith Ed. Which I'm finding to be surprisingly good, given mediocre reviews. #

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Who is this guy?

- noun
Definition: a freelance web designer. senior web designer for Sweetwater Sound. a tech writer for lots of online publications. To learn more about me, go here.

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